My Bowling Tirade from League Tonight

Many people that know me know that I bowl and that I'm quite good at it. My average hangs around a 135 to 145 depending on all kind of things. My co-workers will never bowl with me again, at least I don't think they will, since the first time we went bowling I bowled a 160 something scratch and I don't remember if anyone else broke 100. That however is not the point. The point is that I know I will never be a professional bowler and that at best I'm as athletic a bowler as Homer Simpson.

Not knowing who reads this or will read it I think giving some basics will help.

• Scratch is the score before any handicap is applied.
• Handicap is the number of pins received to equalize the playing field.
• Keep your post-shot celebration (or anger) to your own lane.
• Have fun with your team, but be respectful of your opponents. 

The last two are meant for people, like me, who bowl in leagues. Yep, I bowl in a league once a week for 36 weeks just so I have an excuse to go to Las Vegas. This is yet another reason I don't think my co-workers will be bowling with me again. The league being the sticking point not my adherence to the last two points above.

League bowling is supposed to be fun. It is a time to meet with others, many who become friends over the years, and have a night out. That's for some. Others see leagues as a chance to do something, what I'm not sure, but it usually involves anger and all around jerkiness. Most people who are bowling in a league know that the USBC won't come calling them, or I, for any major tournament anytime soon. However, I think that there some people in leagues that hold out hope they will be discovered and rise to the glory of a professional bowler.

Tonight in league my team bowled another team that takes this way too serious sometimes (i.e. someone looking to be discovered). We bowl for fun and have fun doing it. We aren't there to impress anyone and at the end of it I'm either happy or a little disappointed in my scores.

There was one person on this team who never seems to have fun and stands at the ball return in a foul mood (hahaha foul) if he doesn't get a strike every time. And it isn't him, it's the lanes fault, or the oil on the lane, or the balls fault, but not human error. Hell if we all got strikes all the time we would all be professionals raking in millions of dollars. The point is this guy isn't and he has a bad attitude. Someone likes this can make the evening a little less enjoyable but doesn't steal the whole night of fun. In fact every time I got up to bowl and he was in the lane, I tried really hard to get a strike, especially if he had one pin standing. Not so nice I know but it was my personal war.

In the end it all comes down to putting yourself out there. If this dude wants to be on the professional circuit then he needs to get his butt to the professional tournaments and leave the leagues for those looking for a fun time. Now before I get comments, there are some leagues that are by invite only from management, still they aren't professional and they won't be aired anytime on television.

The dream is real and still alive, I will have a ring like this someday.

My tirade comes down to this: just have fun! If you are gunning for something special like that 200 or 300 game you can be serious but also be a little lighter. Don't get your pants in a bunch because you are five strikes in and end up with a split or something else. If you don't get it at first try again. Keep trying until you do, as of yet I have not bowled anywhere near a 300. Someday, I'll just keep trying and remember that I'm not a professional, no one will discover me as some hidden talent in the center just waiting for the chance, and I will have fun doing it.

Oh and if you are a co-worker reading this, please give me another chance on the lanes. I had so much fun the first time and I won't bring my own gear the second time.

Musings from My Commute

I have a commute in the morning and night to get to my work place. I have lots of time to think and observe the world out my windshield. Today was interesting because my brain was in a frenzy to put to words what was going on in my mind. 

I leave my house by 6:30 am to start my drive. I have to leave that early in anticipation of messy traffic but if there's not then I get to work about an hour early. Most of my commute involves a normal three to four lane freeway (highway for my east coasters). At a certain point the freeway expands to about six lanes, one of these is a carpool lane. 

Not to long ago I bought a low emissions vehicle and have special decals that allow me to use the carpool lane even though I'm single occupant vehicle. Having this helps tremendously with this long commute I have. 

Today as I merged into the carpool lane another vehicle merged in behind me. This SUV then tailgated me all the way to the carpool interchange with another freeway. Rather than taking the ramp to the other freeway as I thought was going to happen, he took the chance to go around me and almost hit a retaining wall in the process. As the brake lights reflected in front of me when he hit the backed up traffic in the carpool lane I had to chuckle. 

This is my musing now that you have the backstory. When did the carpool lanes become the equivalent of the Autobahn in Germany? There are signs everywhere about the speed limit but that doesn't seem to apply to some that use the carpool lane. People will use the lane and then proceed to speed down the road at 80 miles per hour like it's nothing. It drives me nuts. If the carpool lane was meant for impatient people of two or more than I think that's what it would have been called. I don't drive slow I'm doing between 65 and 70 miles per hour myself but for others that isn't fast enough in a lane meant for people of two or more in one vehicle. 

That was this morning. My drive home was more about the music I was listening to than crazy drivers.

My new spiffy low emissions car also has satellite radio. My preset stations in order are: Prime Country, Y2Kountry, 90s on 9, Highway, 80s on 8, and Alt Nation. With that line up it doesn't sound like there could be something that amusing but just wait. It all started because Highway started playing a song I don't really care for so I start the task of channel surfing my presets. 

The song I heard on 90s on 9 made me skip it and then go back to it. What song could have that kind of draw? How about a song that when I saw the year of 1990 my brain screamed, "What?! 1990?! I was 10 when this song was being played on the radio? What has my sister done to me?" OK maybe not that last part about my sister, although she did have an influence on my musical choices for awhile. I mean come on who doesn't want to be like their older sibling. 


So this song that made me go kind of nutty, it was by a group called Digital Underground and the song itself is called "Humpty Dance". Yes that song. I was grooving to a song about doing the humpty hump and when I was 9 or 10 probably had no frigging clue what it was actually about. I was just kind of awestruck by this realization. Then the next song came on.

I don't feel as strange about this one except for the fact that I thought it was only a theme song for a television show. I didn't know it was actually a real song by a real group. I'm sure if I tell you the show that it is the theme music for you will start singing the catchy chorus. That show is Cops. Yes "bad boys, bad boys, watcha going to do?" Of course the only part of the song I knew was the part that goes, "Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?" So not just a theme song for a popular television series, but a real song by a real group, for a real album. Who knew?

Just like that my trip of the 90s was over when I switched back to the Highway for my country music fix. But I was still kind of hung up on what just transpired on my radio. Shocking! No not really but it kind of felt that way.

That's it. My musings about my drive today. Tomorrow is Friday maybe some new things will assualt my brain. I can't wait to see. 

I Have A Strange Condition

I wrote this post sometime near the end of last year and never published it. I have come back to it time and time again with the thought of publishing it and haven't. Today I have decided to share this. - Spaz


Hello to my blog readers at least the ones that stick around as I take months off in between my posts. I wanted to be more consistent but have found that I don't have much to talk about. 

I want to share something that's very personal about my person. I've decided to share this because well it is a part of who I am and my last episode (I hate to call it that) banged me up pretty good. Some of my friends who I have shared this with know and others don't. Most of my family knows. 

I have a medical condition known as Vasovagal Syncope (vay-zoh-VAY-gul SING-kuh-pee) . Try saying that three times fast. What is vasovagal syncope? To put it simply, "Vasovagal syncope is one of the most common causes of fainting. It occurs when your body overreacts to certain triggers, such as the sight of blood or extreme emotional distress.

The vasovagal syncope trigger causes a sudden drop in your heart rate and blood pressure. That leads to reduced blood flow to your brain, which results in a brief loss of consciousness." Definition from MayoClinic.org

I had my first episode when I was young probably pre-teen I'm thinking. It isn't consistent and I can go years without it ever happening. I lived in CT for 3 years and it never happened once. Other times it can happen more than once in a year like it has this year. The first one was my fault, I thought I would watch my sister get stitches and that turned out to be a bad idea. I blame that on my curiosity because I like to watch strange things and learn stuff. I learned I won't watch anyone get stitches again. The most recent occurrence wasn't because of anything, it just happened. 

It really isn't as bad as it sounds. I do get symptoms before it happens so I do get some warning although I wish it was more than just a few seconds or minutes. My symptoms include getting hot really fast and then having cold sweats, tunnel vision, and lightheadedness. None of which are any fun but they are the warning signs that something may happen because sometimes the feeling passes. The only serious problem with this condition is that I could faint and hit my head which could cause some major damage. I'm not superstitious so I'm not going to knock on wood but you go ahead and feel free if you need to. 

The majority of the time I'm fine and living life normally, well as normally as I can, I do have my quirks. It has never happened while I've been driving but happens mostly at home and one time at work. People ask what they can do if it happens; I tell them if possible get me laying down with my feet elevated, talk to me even if you ask silly questions, and just be patient as it could take awhile for me to fully come about again. I will and I'll bounce back as if nothing has happened. 

I'm working with my doctor and she will most likely be prescribing a medication to help but really there isn't much medical science can do. It is one of those things that I have had to learn to live with. It doesn't interfere with my life and I refuse to let it ever come to that. I also don't want anyone to ever treat me differently. This is a part of who I am and I am one amazing person. 

Carrie (1976)

While the Dodgers fought a good battle in St. Louis and the Seahawks won over the Washington Redskins I was watching the classic horror movie Carrie on the big screen at Arclight in Sherman Oaks. This really was classic '70s horror but it hasn't lost its edge. 

I haven't read the book by Stephen King and really the only thing I knew of the film was the scene at prom when she gets covered in blood. The music reminded me at times of Psycho with that high pitched noise. 

What first hit me was how nasty the girls are to Carrie. Come on high school seniors shouldn't be acting like children and still picking on other people. There comes a time when everyone grows up. Sure it might happen in high school but by the time you're a senior you're expected to be somewhat of an adult. It also made me glad that we never had to shower after gym in high school. I mean really the first five to ten minutes rate as high as a good '70s porn. 

Scary as fuck crucifix. Not kidding.

Then we got to meet Carrie's overly protective ultra  religious mother. The woman  beats her own daughter with a book making her say things like, "And the raven was called sin!" and "The first sin was intercourse." Yelling at Carrie while all she is trying for is some sympathy from a mother who never told her about her period. I mean seriously the woman is convinced that Carrie had sex and if she hadn't she would have had, ". . . this curse of blood." And of course the best cure is to lock the girl in a closet with the scariest as fuck crucifix I have ever seen. That's going to really help her. 

There of course has to be one hero and while I would have hoped it would have been the gym teacher to me it was Sue Snell. Sue asks her hunky star athlete boyfriend, Tommy, to ask Carrie to the prom. Of course he obliges but Carrie of course turns him down or more to her character runs away because holy crap a guy just talked to her, mom better not catch wind of that. Tommy doesn't give up and finally Carrie says yes. What happens at the prom is a cute little love arc of the star jock realizing that sometimes the shy girls are the most interesting. Too bad that never worked for me in high school. 

From prom queen to red queen

Then prom the best time of senior year. Carrie is just in awe of everything and Tommy is drinking up her innocence and lost in her childlike wonder of what he has known all along. And we couldn't have prom without a king and queen. Carrie honestly looked beautiful in her dress with her makeup and hair. She looked beautiful standing there next to Tommy but one girl, Chris, got a burr up her butt and decided to teach Carrie a lesson because you know if you are the biggest bitch and are told you can't do something then by all means torture who you think is to be blamed. I'm sure many are familiar with what happens next with Carrie's rage and such. 

And no Stephen King movie would be complete without a total crazy ending. I mean really there was nothing that jumped out and nothing that made me want to cover my eyes. It was just a horrific series of events that happened to be the one person you probably shouldn't have messed with. Oh and the messed up survivor of the whole ordeal, Sue, well she'll never have a normal life after that I don't see how she could. 

Overall, I felt that it was a lot of build up to a  moment that I've seen numerous times depicted in multiple ways which was wonderful to see in its original glory but at the same time kind of a let down. The fanatical mother was just . . . I have no idea. She was there and she would have scared the hell out of me. It was good and I enjoyed it. I'm happy I got to see it on the big screen because the ending wouldn't have looked the same watching it on TV. 

I guess my evening ended on a positive note because two out of three things went good. Seahawks won and I saw a good movie. On the down side, the Dodgers dropped another game to St. Louis. I'm hoping for a Dodgers win tomorrow so they can come back to LA and win a spot in the NLCS. 

Welcome October

It's October and I'm super excited. This is the first October that I can remember being this excited. Arclight is showing all kinds of scary movies during the month. We have decorations to decorate the house. Now if only the California weather would cooperate and realize that it is fall and not summer. 

I know I have lacked in my writing but hey we all get lazy sometimes or drift to other things but I'm back. At least I hope to be back. I want to pick up my blogging again. I did a post but didn't share it and it might never get shared as it is really personal and I just don't think I'm ready to share that yet. 

I'll be posting again soon, I'm seeing a good movie tonight so I will definitely want to share that with my readers. 

Here's to fall and October or perhaps summer and October. Hopefully the weather will figure out what time of year it is. 

In Love With AMC Story Notes

AMC does some pretty awesome stuff. They have great original programming, my favorite is The Walking Dead. They also do some pretty neat things with movies, and I have been falling head over heels for Story Notes. Check out the website for more information and upcoming programming. 

It's quite elegant in nature. AMC picks a film and then at the bottom of the screen pops up random trivia about the film. The trivia ranges from nonsense to comparisons of the film to the book if it is based on a book. 

I came home and found Tony watching The Green Mile on AMC Story Notes and was instantly drawn in. Notes on acting choices, director's choices, the design of the set all made the film that much cooler because it was stuff I didn't know. I know I can watch movies on DVD or Blu-Ray and watch them with commentary but this is just different. There's no voices interrupting the movie since they pop up on the screen, much like Pop Up Video. 

The next night, we watched Blazing Saddles. Very funny and some fun trivia, things you can't find on IMDb. At least this movie wasn't as long as The Green Mile so I was able to finish watching it. I sadly went to bed before The Green Mile was over. 

You can check out the full schedule on their website and see what is coming up. For instance in the next week they will be screening Meet the Fockers, The Mummy, and Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters will definitely be interesting. 

Finding a Best Friend as an Adult

I'm not sure why, but the thought of best friends has been on my mind lately. Many adults have had their best friend (s) for years often through friendships formed in grade school, high school, college, and even beyond. But how do those friends become a best friend? And what happens when you lose that best friend? 

When I was little, I went to a private school, I met the girl that would be my best friend through about third grade when I was in pre-school. Her name was Jennifer. We seemed to do everything together and I have lots of pictures of us at school events with big smiles, arms around each other, and having fun. There were lots of sleepovers, birthday parties, and things we did together. By about second grade that had started to change. The summer between first and second grades, something happened between me and my classmates, and I have never been sure what. All I know is that by the third grade, I was the one everyone seemed to pick on, call names, and make fun of. Kids would come up to me, touch me, and then run touching their friends saying things like that I had given them cooties or worse AIDS. Yeah, AIDS, I have no idea where it came from but there it was in school. So Jennifer faded away and started hanging out with the other kids and we didn't spend as much time together. 

About that time, I met Amber, she was an outcast kind of like me. I think kids didn't like her because she was very different. She squeaked, constantly was twitching, and always turning. I never saw her as anything but a friend, she and I were friends until she left the school, I think. My memory of those years is starting to fade somewhat. As an adult, I often wondered if she had turrets as many of the things she did were similar to things I read about children with the affliction. But Amber and I were never as close as Jennifer and I were. 

Junior high, I was pretty much a loner. I had a core group of friends, but none that I remember considering a best friend. At least by then the name calling and bullying had stopped. It made interacting with my fellow students easier. I'm not sure what I did during those two years except take typing and photography classes as my electives. 

When it came time to think about high school, I wanted to go to a private school. I'm not sure how many of my junior high classmates took the entrance exam to Catholic school, but I know there were quite a few. I was the only girl from my junior high class to attend the high school I selected. A fresh start, a new opportunity to meet new people, and make new friends.

My first friend in high school that was a really good friend was Dominique. She and I got dropped off at generally the same time in the morning, which was early, so we had lots of time to talk and get to know each other. I met the girl who would become my best friend through high school and for some time beyond when I was a sophomore and she was a freshman. I had many good friends in high school, but I always called her my best friend. I felt I could tell her everything because she understood me and it was easy to talk to her. She was my sponsor when I went through the RCIA to convert to the Catholic church after my boyfriend who was dropped me. She was always there for me and I was there for her. That all changed a few years ago.

I got married five years ago and she was my maid of honor, because that's what I had always planned, she was my best friend, and we were going to be friends forever. That's what I thought. She and my sorority sister helped out so much with my wedding, it wouldn't have happened without them. I was stressed, but trying to hold it together as it came down to the big day. My wedding day went off without a hitch, well except for a couple of decisions that were made that I now regret, but overall, it was perfect. My best friend was my made of honor and I was blessed that my sorority big sister was our officiant. Two very important people to me. The day after turned out to be not so great. 

My husband and I returned to get everything from her house, which is where the wedding was held. She and my sorority sister had already started cleaning up and doing stuff when we arrived. I was tired and not very enthusiastic of being there the day after. I had asked for help to take stuff out to the car including wedding gifts, left over favors, and anything else that we were keeping. Instead of helping, she was busy putting flowers into vases that were left over and that I didn't really want. In the process of taking things out to the car, I dropped a bag and heard a crash, things were broken, and I saw red. I stormed into the house angry and we had a fight. When Tony heard things and came in I left. He came out and told me I was being childish (which was true) and that I should apologize. I did, finished packing up the car, said my goodbyes, and left. I thought that everything was OK. It wasn't. It took me a while to get the hint, but I got it, she didn't want to talk to me anymore, we were no longer best friends. I hadn't seen or spoken to her after that day until about two years ago, when I was in a restaurant in Santa Barbara and she walked right past me. I touched her arm and said hi, and all she did was look down at me like she didn't know who I was and told me that she was there for a work party and didn't have time to talk. That was the last time I saw her. I lost her the day after my wedding and I think at the same time I lost my big sister from sorority as over the years she has faded and we no longer talk or see each other. I think it might be because of the same fight. 

This July that will have been 6 years ago. Since then I haven't really had what I would call a best friend. I have close friends, but not a best friend. And maybe it is my definition of what I think a best friend is, but also possibly because I don't feel that kind of connection with anyone. I don't want all my close friends to get upset, they all mean so much to me, but I miss having a best friend. I miss having someone that I could call on a boring day and say lets do something and we do. Or someone to go out and have dinner with, someone that's willing to see the movies that Tony won't. I miss having a friend that I feel comfortable confiding in that won't use it against me later (that's another issue that arose after the fight). But how as an adult do I find that person? The one that I can give this lame title best friend to?

As an adult, if that bond isn't there, I think it is harder. Many of my friends are married and have children. And many of my friends have had their best friend for years already. I'm also busier now then when I was a student. Building that relationship takes more work. I'm fortunate to have has many friends as I do, even if we don't talk or see each other often. Indeed some of my girl friends I see once a year at convention because we became friends through our belong to the same insurance industry association. I just miss having that best friend who I could call and have be there for me at an instant if necessary.  But how do I find that relationship? Build that bond? It seems ridiculous sometimes, but like I said, its been on my mind. I thought I would throw it out there to the world and universe to see what happens. 

Thanks for reading the ramble, because truly, I rambled.