Major Decision

Today is the last Sunday of 2009 and as some people already know, I have decided to take a major step next year. 

I saw my primary care physician a week ago Monday and found out that I have gained nine additional pounds bringing me to a total weight of 300 pounds to close out the year.  I haven't been at a healthy weight for years now.  I have tried all things to lose weight with no success. 

In January, I see for the third time a bariatric surgeon.  I have decided to get lap-band surgery.  In January I also turn 30 so I need to do something to try and save myself.  I want to have kids and this is my last option.  

I plan on keeping a journal of my journey, the good, the bad, and the struggle.  I hope you will read it, and if you too are struggling with what to do, perhaps we can join forces and support each other.

Thinking on New Year's Resolutions

As the end of the year is fast approaching I begin to start thinking about what I will want to do differently in the new year.  Of course the usual options spring up, lose weight, make more money, really take a nice vacation that isn't a meeting of some kind.  But I keep coming back to the lose weight and then my mind starts racing with what can I do and what should I be doing to make myself healthy.

Perhaps a back story is necessary for you the reader to understand my dilemma.  I have struggled with my weight all my life, I was overweight as a child, lost weight, gained weight, it was a yo-yo.  The summer between my sophomore and junior year of high school I lost so much weight that I was able to wear a size 2.  Then slowly it began to creep up again.  Then I made a drastic move to the east coast and gained over 100 pounds in my first year of living there. 

I have tried diets, been to a bariatric doctor twice about surgery, and just about everything in between.  I have a problem, I'm not denying that.  What I can't seem to do is stick with a plan.  I don't have a very good sense of a strong will.  I think my psyche sets me up to fail.  Of course that means I set myself up to fail.  I will do good for a few weeks but then go right back to eating all the time (yes I eat because I'm anxious).  So, what do I do?  How can I solve the psyche problem in order to help my body.

My doctor has informed me that in no uncertain terms am I healthy enough to have a baby, one of my ultimate goals.  I really want to be a parent.  I also know that I am morbidly obese, have high cholesterol,  have high blood pressure, pre-diabetic, and to thwart things an under-active thyroid. 

So here I am, sitting in my room, wondering what steps I can take to put myself on the path to being healthy.  It feels like a hopeless journey that I will start on and just stop again.  I need something that's going to stick.  An option or someone who will be there 24/7 to remind me that I can't let others influence my needs (as I let people do) and to keep me on that path to relearn behaviors that need to be relearned. 

I'm going to think on this and see what I come up with by January 1st.  That gives 31 days, well 32 since I still have November 30.  So here's to coming up with a workable plan.

Weekend of Movies

This weekend has been relaxing, exciting, and a good time to catch two more flicks at the local movie theater.  I got to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine Saturday morning and Angels & Demons today.  I love going to the movies as is evident by my list of movies that I have seen so far this year.  You'll see most of them are older films but that is because I love going to the Arclight on AFI night.  What a great opportunity to have living in Los Angeles to see movies as they are originally intended on the big screen.  Between the old and the new there is always something at the movies to see.  With summer coming movie season is going to pick up with all the summer movies that are coming out.  So my list is just going to keep growing.  I can't wait to see how many I can catch before the end of the year.

The Beginning of New Adventures (May contain spoilers of the movie Star Trek)

**Originally published on the blog Do You Smell Guinea Pigs?**

Last night I had a blast seeing Star Trek.  We saw it at the AMC on the IMAX screen.  The sound was awesome at times vibrating the seats.  The picture was awesome on the large screen.  The whole experience was phenomenal.  

 

I am the first to admit that I have been a Star Trek (ST) fan since I was a little girl.  My fascination with the show began when I watched old episodes of the original series and then carried on to Star Trek: The Next Generation (TNG).  I tend to enjoy the characters that are logical and look for a way to express their feelings.  So I love Spock and Data.  I will admit that I fell out of love with ST after TNG ended and I couldn't get into Deep Space Nine (DS9) or Voyager.  I never did watch Enterprise and I kick myself for that because I love Scott Bakula.

 

So back to the new movie.  I thought that the story was great.  I know that the show tended to use time travel a lot as a plot point and they do that in the film but in a great way.  While the action of the film revolves around a Romulan vessel coming through a black hole that is also a time warp to destroy Vulcan, the time travel in the film will allow for future movies if everyone involved is game.  History has now been changed for our heros back in the early years, who knows what can happen.  Granted I don't think the persona of Kirk will ever stop being a womanizer or a hot head that is full of himself.  I really want to see another movie that will explore the relationship between Spock and Uhura.  I loved at the end of the movie that Sarek admitted to Spock that the reason he married his mother was because he loved her.  He is human enough to admit that he had feelings which Spock has fought all his life. All I'm saying is that Uhura and Spock make an interesting story line.

 

I hope that there will be another movie with this young group of actors.  They did a wonderful job making each well known person their own.  The whole movie was an original based on an iconic television show that has captured many generations.  My hope is that this resurgence of Star Trek will capture another generation or two so that it lives on.  

 

Live long and prosper.

Tennessee in the Summer - West Coast Ensemble

**Originally published on the blog Do You Smell Guinea Pigs?**

Last night I had the privilege to watch four talented actors perform Joe Besecker's play Tennessee in the Summer at the El Centro Theatre in Hollywood.

There apparently were some minor technical difficulties that kept the house from being seated until 8 p.m. when the play was supposed to start. You would never know though that all the light cues had to be re-done as the actors hit every mark and light spot perfectly.

The play is about events in Tennessee Williams' life done in a series of flashbacks. Two of the actors played multiple roles with the other two being the steady characters of Tennessee and just simply Woman.

I was not quite sure at the beginning what to think of the woman character and towards the end I was convinced that she represented Tennessee's feminine side. The character of Tennessee in the play was very harsh and not very open, the Woman character showed a softer more caring side which I think Tennessee very much wanted but somehow could not fully achieve 100%.

My favorite part of the play was the series of flashbacks involving Tennessee and his lover Frankie. Tennessee abused the one man in his life who loved him for all his faults, good qualities and everything in between. Frankie eventually dies of lung cancer alone in his hospital room having never heard Tennessee admit the love he had for him. A very touching moment and sad because the death of Frankie hardens Tennessee's belief in fearing death.

A great production over all. I wish it were playing longer so that more people could see it and enjoy the experience. Thank you to the cast and crew for a great night out at the theater.

The Nominations Are In

**Originally published on the blog Do You Smell Guinea Pigs?**

Tonight was my local insurance women's group meeting.  We had an excellent speaker named George Hotaling.  He spoke to our group about insurance for trust programs offered through banks.  I found it totally interesting and something I would like to learn more about.  He's made great progress on his program developing their own software platform and working with a handful of companies to get the insurance.  

We continued on with our meeting and had nominations for the upcoming year.  I've been nominated to serve as my association's secretary which I'm totally excited about.  It is a place to start and grow from.  I'm very happy that they asked me to be a part of the board.

 

Next week is our regional conference in Salt Lake City.  I'm going to be the delegate for my association which it totally rad.  I'm looking forward to the trip and the time that will be spent with my fellow insurance professionals.