Thinking on New Year's Resolutions

As the end of the year is fast approaching I begin to start thinking about what I will want to do differently in the new year.  Of course the usual options spring up, lose weight, make more money, really take a nice vacation that isn't a meeting of some kind.  But I keep coming back to the lose weight and then my mind starts racing with what can I do and what should I be doing to make myself healthy.

Perhaps a back story is necessary for you the reader to understand my dilemma.  I have struggled with my weight all my life, I was overweight as a child, lost weight, gained weight, it was a yo-yo.  The summer between my sophomore and junior year of high school I lost so much weight that I was able to wear a size 2.  Then slowly it began to creep up again.  Then I made a drastic move to the east coast and gained over 100 pounds in my first year of living there. 

I have tried diets, been to a bariatric doctor twice about surgery, and just about everything in between.  I have a problem, I'm not denying that.  What I can't seem to do is stick with a plan.  I don't have a very good sense of a strong will.  I think my psyche sets me up to fail.  Of course that means I set myself up to fail.  I will do good for a few weeks but then go right back to eating all the time (yes I eat because I'm anxious).  So, what do I do?  How can I solve the psyche problem in order to help my body.

My doctor has informed me that in no uncertain terms am I healthy enough to have a baby, one of my ultimate goals.  I really want to be a parent.  I also know that I am morbidly obese, have high cholesterol,  have high blood pressure, pre-diabetic, and to thwart things an under-active thyroid. 

So here I am, sitting in my room, wondering what steps I can take to put myself on the path to being healthy.  It feels like a hopeless journey that I will start on and just stop again.  I need something that's going to stick.  An option or someone who will be there 24/7 to remind me that I can't let others influence my needs (as I let people do) and to keep me on that path to relearn behaviors that need to be relearned. 

I'm going to think on this and see what I come up with by January 1st.  That gives 31 days, well 32 since I still have November 30.  So here's to coming up with a workable plan.